Premarital Education
“My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding—indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.”
Proverbs 2:1-6
Have you ever thought about why we are willing to invest so much time, energy and money into higher education in hopes of positioning ourselves for a stable career and a secure financial future, yet we neglect to truly prepare a foundation much more meaningful: MARRIAGE?
Since I was about 18-years-old, I’ve been fascinated with the beauty of marriage. It may sound strange, but over the past 10 years, I’ve been investing in the “higher” education of marriage. I’ve read many books on marriage in preparation for the most glorious gift I believe God gives us this side of Heaven.
My hope is to understand God’s heart so intimately in regard to marriage that I will be equipped to glorify Him when He presents me to my future husband. I want to honor God first and foremost and ensure that I am posturing my heart to best carry out His will. I pray that when He unites my soul with the one He has created me for, together we can be godly example-setters in our circles of influence–most importantly our family.
Marriage, according to God’s perfect plan, is a life-long covenant between two souls that He chooses. As we covered in "The Why & How of Adam & Eve" God shows us that He is the Author of Love and the Divine Orchestrator who unites two souls together in His perfect timing to be a real-life example of His love for us. Marriage is God’s idea, it is not some man-made idea for companionship, and it’s not a contract with clauses and bylaws. It's a covenant. An irrevocable promise in His sight.
How would our society be different if we placed more emphasis on teaching and understanding what marriage is all about from an early age? Some may propose that marriage should be regarded according to our own personal experiences and what we observe. I think we can agree that we most definitely learn the most about marriage from our families. However if we look at the divorce rate and the increase of blended homes, it gets confusing. We may be learning more about what NOT to do than given positive examples to emulate.
Take caution not to hear what I'm NOT saying. This message is not to cast shame on those who are divorced. My own mother and father divorced and it's never been a wonder why. God can make beauty out of ashes, this I testify. I've been blessed with a wonderful stepdad who has loved me since my earliest memory. I have 3 parents who all add their unique value and guidance to my life.
Let me be clear, I full-heartedly believe that the Holy Bible is the best and most credible resource we have to learn from in all facets of life, including marriage. However there are some incredible authors that unpack biblical principles of marriage and present practical application that will prepare our hearts and enhance our understanding of love and marriage. I believe it would be beneficial for all people to dive into the study of marriage starting at the age when the opposite sex no longer seems like they have “cooties.”
Remember, we can’t fall “victim” to our own choices and then blame it on our lack of understanding. Worse yet, we can’t blame our upbringing or the negative and dysfunctional marriages we may have observed. That’s simply foolish because, as we concluded in “Evaluating Godly Standards for Love,” we must hold ourselves responsible for walking out God’s will and keeping our hearts and minds surrendered to His plan and not be sponges of the world absorbing all of it’s muck.
(Published on Elevate 2 Great October 26, 2015)
Join the conversation in the comments below:
What if we continued to study marriage throughout our lives?
Wouldn’t it be worth the investment? Perhaps it would prevent unions outside God’s will which, in turn, would decrease the rate of divorce?
What marriage resources do you recommend?